Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
