if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
