I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
being pregnant is like rehab
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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