I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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