we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
