I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
