Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
