what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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