U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
