there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Porn is love you can see.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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