I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
