Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
