pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
