my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
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there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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