I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
