Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
