I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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