the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
