ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
