After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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