Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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