It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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