Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
