I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
