So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i think i just lost a toe
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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