Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
