i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
