my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
