Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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