forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
