Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize