Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
