my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
