my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
