And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
