i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
