I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
