Acid is not a monday night drug
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
