Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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