Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You ruined the universe
Holy shit dude........stairs
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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