I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
