I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I've blown a few things in my day
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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