you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
