Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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