I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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