Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
