this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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