nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
