oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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