Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
