The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
