Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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