God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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