I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
