I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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