i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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