it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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