Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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