I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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