He had one of those small greek statue penises
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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