just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
