Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
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Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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