I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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